Anxiety – the struggle is real.
Feelings are overwhelming. I can’t stay on top of things. I want it all back. It looks like its all coming back, they should given what has been said, but nothing is sure before it has happened. The fear is paralyzing. I can’t loose him again.
Why am I not happy? We had a lovely evening together. He said all the right things. We are moving in the right direction. Yet, I am still crushed. Lying in bed. Not functioning. At all or at any level. Instead of focusing on the good things, I’m focusing on the bad things. How I embarrassed my self by drinking to much. The fact that we don’t have a date set for our next date. That I only got one text from him since the date. That he invited me to spend New Years Eve with him, but that won’t be happening until we get us back.
If he wants to get back together. And I want to get back together. Why are we not together? It doesn’t make sense to me. At the very least, why are we not in contact? I want to talk to him. Just about everyday stuff. Why doesn’t he want the same?
I’m trying to focus on the good. Day is young. The text/ call will come. Fingers crossed. This will be alright. We will get back together. We will.
Post title from “Skyscraper” by Demi Lovato.